Anger anyone?

I didn't grow up with a strong belief in God.  I've been looking for a way to foster that belief ever since I was in my 20s.  Unsuccessfully, it turns out.  I can't seem to wrap my head around anything the bible says.  I've talked to priests of various traditions.  I've questioned the Mormons that come to my door - maybe they know something I don't, you never know.  (They don't).  I've talked to a counselor who's an ordained minister.  He actually made the most sense and took me the closest to the idea of a God. 

Recently, of course, my search has intensified.  I think it would give me some peace.  So on Sunday I went to a Buddhist Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City.  The Sunday talk was about how people tend to avoid unpleasant situations, or pain, and seek out pleasant situations, or pleasure.  The buddhist teacher urged us to consider our reactions to pain and pleasure.  How do we handle an unpleasant or a pleasant experience?  How we react to the pain or the pleasure is important to note, he said, because it can give you insight into yourself and your state of well-being (or not-so-well-being). 

At the end of the talk, he opened it up to questions.  People started talking about various unpleasant situations in their lives.  For example, being around family at Thanksgiving.  They talked about how difficult this could be for them.  They were chuckling at each other - everyone knows what that's like, right?  I just wanted to scream, YOU F&%$*ING ASSHOLES.  What about the pain of watching your own child suffer?  Having to watch him have multiple seizures a day, sometimes clawing at you with terror in his eyes because he knows it's coming and there's absolutely nothing you can do about?  Are you all still chuckling? 

I am still so angry.  Sometimes it comes out at other people because I think they have such an easy life, compared to mine.  I know that's not fair.  Or at least part of me knows it's not fair.