Yesterday morning I was feeling sorry for myself. I heard that my nephew, who is 6 weeks old, is sleeping through the night. I'm happy for my sister-in-law. I really am. I don't know why that made me cry. Both my children were quite difficult as infants. I am still, more than 2 years after Ben's birth, extremely sleep-deprived. In tears, I said to Aaron, why didn't I get that? Why didn't I get the experience of having an easy baby? Why is it so hard for me?
He said, simply, Why didn't you get a child that died one month after birth? Why weren't you born in Darfur? Why haven't you lost a sibling or parent in a horrible accident? It goes both ways, you know.
He's right. If I'm going to complain about my fate in life, I have to consider that it could have been worse. It can always be better or worse. It is what it is. My challenge is to accept my fate and be grateful for what I have. People have told me to focus on gratitude, that it would help me. But it never quite sunk in as it did yesterday morning.
That is the best gift he could have given me.
2 comments:
I got a little teary eyed when I read that one! I was definitely touched moved and inspired.
Lots of love,
Brac
Dear Catherine,
Your patience, courage, and strength serve as an inspiration to those around you. I am in awe of your grace and all that you do day in and day out from the moment you wake to the moment you close your eyes at night (because I truly believe that you never fully fall asleep). Breathe in. Breathe out. Take time for yourself to clear your mind, body, and spirit. Seek strength in all that you've accomplished thus far and believe that with each new day you have the endurance to grow even stronger. I so wish I could be there with you to give you a hug and to look you in the eye to say how much you're admired. You are an amazing person, Catherine. Chloe and Ben are so lucky to learn from you and be loved by you. Wonderful you. Love, Amy
Post a Comment